As I’ve previously mentioned here on Bespoke Unit, I generally prefer smaller ring gauge cigars—the largest I can comfortably enjoy is a 56. Anything higher and my jaw starts getting fatigued during the smoke.
However, I do have a soft spot for Asylum 13, a brand celebrated not only for its edgy, ‘The Crow’ by Brandon Lee-inspired branding but also for its notably large vitolas. What truly captivates me are their bold and unique cigar blends, and it doesn’t hurt that owner Christian Eiroa shares my passion for aviation.
Today, I’m relieved to say I won’t be tackling the April Fool’s 9×90 behemoth. Instead, I’ll be enjoying the Asylum 13 99 Problems, a cigar as uniquely crafted in blend as it is in presentation.
Asylum 13 99 Problems Cigar Overview
- Brand: Asylum 13
- Range: 99 Problems
- Reviewed Vitolas: 7 x 38 Lancero
- Wrapper: Nicaraguan Habano
- Binder: Nicaraguan
- Filler: Nicaraguan
- Factory: C.L.E. Cigar Factory (Danlí, Honduras)
- Handmade: Yes
- Body: Full
- Estimated Smoking Time: 40 Minutes
- Pricing: $685 / Box of 99 [Buy On CigarPage]
The 99 Problems cigars by Asylum 13 have one of the most interesting box packages I’ve come across. Indeed, that’s not a typo; the full box contains 99 Lancero cigars.
Fear not, though. You can buy a five-pack of these lanceros from CigarPage for $30 to $40, which makes them much less overwhelming to try.
Asylum 13 99 Problems Lancero Cigar: Look & Feel
- Wrapper Hue: Mahogany
- Rolling Consistency: Even
- Spring: Firm
- Aromas: Cinnamon, Dark Cocoa, Tires?
The Asylum 13 99 Problems cigar exudes a rustic appeal with its mahogany-hued habano wrapper, characterized by a toothy texture and visible veins. Firm to the touch, it promises a slow, even burn.
The aromas from the cigar are intriguing—a mix of cinnamon and dark cocoa complemented by an unexpected hint of tires (in a good way!), lending an earthy robustness that enriches its distinct character.
Review Of The Asylum 13 99 Problems Cigar
Pre-Lighting Experience
- Draw: Slightly Loose
- Aromas: Brownies, Sea Salt, Mushroom
Using a guillotine cutter, I snipped the swirl cap of the Asylum 13 99 Problems, which amusingly resembles a scoop of chocolate ice cream.
The dry draw revealed a rich and intriguing blend of flavors. Notes of brownies and a hint of sea salt came through immediately, paired with a distinct, earthy mushroom undertone. If I didn’t know better, I would think this blend has a little bit of Kentucky-fired cured tobacco in it.
1st Third Smoking Experience
- Notes: Hazelnut, Cream, Black Pepper
Upon lighting the 99 Problems, the initial experience is unexpectedly smooth.
The dominant flavors are a delightful blend of hazelnut and cream, creating a rich and velvety taste profile. This is punctuated by a hint of signature Nicaraguan black pepper, which adds a bit of zest to the finish.
The retrohale introduces a unique malty funk, adding another layer of complexity to the smoking experience. This combination makes for a nuanced and enjoyable start to the cigar.
2nd Third Smoking Experience
- Notes: Toasted Marshmellow, Espresso, Dried Cherries
Moving into the second third, the Asylum 13 99 Problems develops a satisfying interplay of flavors.
You know when you toast marshmallows to a perfect golden brown color without carbonizing the sugars? That’s the primary flavor note I am getting. It’s further complemented by rich espresso and tart, dried cherries.
The retrohale brings a hint of charcoal, adding a smoky depth that enriches the complex flavor profile.
Final Third Smoking Experience
- Notes: Pretzel, Cedar, Malt
The final third of this blend is where the Nicaraguan Habano wrapper really starts to shine, delivering robust flavors of pretzel, cedar, and malt. A hint of black pepper on the retrohale adds a spicy contrast while the overall strength remains at a steady medium.
This section highlights the depth and complexity of the blend beautifully.
Overall Burn
- Ash Backbone: Solid
- Burn Angle: Straight
- Temperature: Cool
- Draw: Slightly Tight
- Final Smoking Time: 45 Minutes
Overall Experience
The Asylum 13 99 Problems sports a straightforward yet striking branding with its black band adorned in red and silver gothic details. Its packaging complements this aesthetic with a massive, finished natural wood box featuring black branding.
Lanceros are notoriously challenging to roll due to their slender shape. This shape limits the amount of filler and can lead to draw and combustion issues. However, 99 Problems manages these challenges well.
Although the draw did tighten slightly towards the band, I experienced no combustion problems throughout. The ash was consistently bone white and solid, and the cigar produced a steady stream of cool smoke, showcasing the blend’s excellent construction and consistency.
Pairing Recommendations For 99 Problems Cigar
The 99 Problems by Asylum 13 is ideally suited for casual settings, perfect for enjoying around a campfire with friends. Its malty and peppery notes pair wonderfully with grilled meats. For dessert, the cigar’s sweeter, creamy undertones are complemented by treats like s’mores or rocky road ice cream.
In terms of drinks, a unique cocktail from Portland called the Flat Black—an intriguing mix of Guinness, espresso, and a sprinkle of cocoa powder—pairs excellently with this cigar. The 99 Problems enhances and is enhanced by nutty, creamy, and malty flavors, making it a versatile choice for various beverages.
Closing Thoughts
The 99 Problems cigar from Asylum 13 truly showcases the unique appeal of the lancero format. The wrapper allows the tobacco’s flavors to shine, producing cool smoke that contrasts nicely with the casual branding and the vitola’s elegant length.
While I’d love to stock these in my humidor, the 99-cigar box size is daunting, despite the excellent value of about $8 per cigar. Such a large box is ideal for parties or for those interested in long-term aging experiments. Otherwise, if you’re having humidor space problems… I feel bad for ya, son.
"The Asylum 13 99 Problems impresses with its elegant lancero format, delivering a unique smoking experience highlighted by a cool and flavorful smoke, ultimately delivering an excellent value,"
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